A Case for "They" and "Their"

Delicious. Tasty. Delectable. Appetizing.

Annoying. Pesky. Bothersome. Irritating.

Crazy. Insane. Loony. One taco short of Texas.

 

I heard once that English has more synonyms than any other language. That may be true, I don't know. But if it is, it is rather sad that, with all our multitudes of words, we can't find some solution to the he/she, he or she, s/he, they problem.

But since the dawn of political correctness (approximately 1991, the first week of March, about 11 AM), there has been a need for a gender-neutral pronoun. But we have yet to find one that works.

Point 1: I think the notion that "he" and "his" and other male gendered words can act as an umbrella pronoun for both genders is extremely out-dated. (Except in "mankind," where any attempt to avoid it seems forced and silly).

EX: Each child should put his toys away when he is finished playing.

Sexist people. Don't the girls have toys too, or are the boys expected to put away the girls' toys as well as their own?

Point 2: "He/She" and all of its variations is viewed by most people who actually care about English as an eyesore. Then think about saying it in a speech or as you are talking to a friend, and it's possibly worse.

EX: If a person sticks a tiny tart up his or her nose, then he or she should be prepared for the consequences, because he or she might not be able to get the tiny tart out of his or her nose.

Then there's the fact that, though "he or she" is an attempt to equalize gendered language, the male pronoun always comes first anyway, so the problem still exists. You rarely, if ever, hear "she or he." It doesn't solve the problem.

Point 3: For some time now, people have been pushing the use of an entirely made-up gender-free pronoun. The only examples I've seen of this are "werf" and "tho," and they both sound ridiculous.

EX: Werf had just gotten out of the shower and had run to the living room to grab something when werf looked out the window and saw someone breaking into werf's car.

Yep. Ridiculous.

What we snobby English lovers are unwilling to embrace is that we already have the solution: they and their.

Yes, yes, yes, people, I know. "But that's a plural pronoun," you say, "and he and she are singular."

Here's the thing with people who love English/claim to be good at it: some people love it for what it should be (prescriptivists) and others love it for what it is (descriptivists). And if you have your feet firmly, solidly planted in the prescriptivist camp, then you can't stand having the rules broken, even if there's a reason for it.

We all know "they" and "their" are plural. We don't need that waved in our faces. And I am a big proponent of knowing the rules of English, but that's mostly so that I can break them to my own effect later.

And that's why I think "they" and "their" work as gender neutral pronouns for both plural and signular antecedents. It's not sexist, it's not an eyesore, and it isn't ridiculous. We're used to hearing it already, and even though it breaks a technical rule, the breaking of that rule suits a purpose.

EX: Did you hear about the kid waving Duck Hunt guns out their window when they were going home from school? What were they thinking?!

Yay for they!

Comments

[L]

They is my preferred gender neutral term too. My other oft-used option (since I am an objective/auditor type) is to refer to the individual as "the person" (or in the case of an investigative report, "the target").
EX: The person put on the person's coat and walked out of the house towards the person's neighbor's car.
Note: it doesn't sound nearly as ridiculous if you rely heavily on context and implication and substitute lots of adjectives.
EX: The person put on a lovely red coat and walked out of the house with the dog in tow, attempting to avoid the neighbor's muddy SUV.

[Daniel "Chorioretinal" Creviston]

Interessante!

[Daniel "whoami" Creviston]

Me and who. Me and who! Me and Who! ME AND WHO! ME AND WHO!!

[Darcy]

Hahaha. So, um,Dan'l......how long has it been since you guys posted an update on YOUR blog? And KB too. AND L, for that matter. And Judd doesn't even HAVE a blog (that I know of).

But I did take an M & W pic with Cosmo this Thursday, but I looked like a zombie. Maybe I'll post it anyway.

Oh, and I've been sick for a couple of days, so I really haven't gotten out much recently. Which makes it hard for Me and Whos.