Two Inches

Obey and Prosper

 

My Grandma Allsop has always been a good example to me as someone who continually reads and studies the scriptures.  She loves the word of God, and it shows in the way she has lived her life.  She has inspired me in my own scripture study.

A few years ago my mom made us scripture study journals, and when I first started writing in mine, I started a few lists:

1. Book of Mormon Authorship:  The plates of the Book of Mormon were passed from ancient prophet to ancient prophet.  Sometimes it can be easy to forget who is narrating.  I've been keeping a list up through Words of Mormon, after which it gets tricky, because in all the books after that, Mormon likes to interject things and do summaries, and then go back to the text of the original prophets.
2. The Contents of the Brass Plates (as noted by Nephi in 1 Nephi:10-14)
3. Prophets Mentioned in the Book of Mormon without Current Books of Scripture
4. Book of Mormon Bad Guys: I need to update this list, but I generally keep track of whether they were Lamanite or Nephite, the prophet they rebelled against, and how they died.
5. Verses that have some form of the phrasing "If ye keep my commandments, ye shall prosper in the land."

That last list is really why I am writing about today.  I pretty much blazed through the last half of Alma this week, and even though I've been keeping the obey/prosper list for a few years now, there are always verses I miss.

But I've been thinking a lot, especially with the upcoming elections and the general state of people in the world right now, about how our blessings correlate with our dedication to God.  While this definitely has a personal application, I've been thinking about it more on a country- and worldwide scale.

Lots of people don't like the "war chapters" in Alma, because they describe...wars.  There is lots of fighting and strategem and people dying or getting captured.  But the righteous leaders remind the people that if they remember the Lord that they will be blessed, and they will overcome their enemies.  I think our country as a whole has forgotten the Lord and that he is the source of all our blessings.

Anyhow, there's a lot more that could be said about that, but I won't say it.  I'll just say this:  the scriptures are true.  And we have them.  And since we have them, we have the benefit of learning from the mistakes of previous civilizations.  It would be a shame to waste that gift.

I'm sure this list is incomplete (especially since it stops in Alma, and there are six more books aftere that), but I've included the verses I've found that fit under my obey and prosper list. So far there are 25 references.  (So maybe it's an important concept?)

1 Nephi

• 2:20 - the Lord to Nephi
• 4:14 - Nephi recalling the Lord's words
• 7:13 - Nephi to his brethren
• 14:1-2  - Angel to Nephi
• 17:13-15 - the Lord to Nephi before he builds ship

2 Nephi

• 1:9-10  - Lehi's prophecies to his sons
• 1:31 - Lehi to Zoram
• 3:2 - Lehi to son Joseph
• 4:4 - Lehi to Laman and his posterity
• 5:10-11  - Nephi

Short Books

• Enos 1:10 - the Lord to Enos
• Jarom 1:9-10  - Jarom quoting what the Lord said to his fathers
• Omni 1:6 - Omni quoting the Lord to his fathers

Mosiah

• 1:7 - King Benjamin to his sons
• 1:13-14  - King Benjamin to his son Mosiah
• 2:22 - King Benjamin to his people

Alma

• 9:13 - Alma to the people of Ammonihah
• 9:24 - Alma to the people of Ammonihah
• 36:1 - Alma to his son Helaman
• 36:20 - Alma to his son Helaman
• 38:1 - Alma to his son Shiblon
• 45:6-8  - Alma to his son Helaman
• 48:15 - Mormon talking about Nephites
• 48:25 - Mormon talking about Nephites
• 62:51 - Mormon talking about Nephites

Who Needs Math Anyway?

A friend posted this on FB.  You many have seen it already, but it was so good, I thought it was worth reposting.

 

How to Choose an Auto Shop

There are some choices in life that are really difficult.

Like whether to put both socks on, and then your shoes, or to put on one sock and one shoe, and then the other sock and the other shoe.

Life is fully of tricky choices.

I arrived at church this past Sunday to discover that I had a flat tire. A guy friend changed it for me because I was in a skirt, but then by the time I got home, my spare was flat as well.

It was clear that I needed to take action.

Here's the deal, though. There are two auto shops within about a mile and a half of where I live. The one has the advantage of being near Walmart, having updated decor, and employing a beautiful, young, blue-eyed mechanic.

And when he looks at me with those baby blues and tells me that my air filter is clean and that my windshield-wiper fluid is full, my heart just starts beating, and I want to kiss him right then and there.

But then he tells me it's $80 to run the diagnostic test that will tell me why my engine light is on, and, if I ever thought I loved the blue-eyed mechanic, I realize with heart-breaking reality that he will never be good enough for me.

So I cross the street. To the other auto shop. The one that plays the Christian music station all day long and has the bleached-blond receptionist and the tall, skinny mechanic in a jumpsuit that looks like it's never been washed.

I took my car there to get the tire fixed. I really don't know much about cars. Put gas in them. Stop the car when the oil light comes on. Keep a flashlight in the glove box and your gun under the seat. I always figured that if you had a flat tire, it was flat, and if it was flat, you bought a new tire.

And you never buy just one new tire, you always have to buy at least two. At least, this is how my non-car-minded brain works.

So you can see why I was surprised when the mechanic came out of the shop after only fifteen minutes.

"That'll be $13.70," he said. "We fixed the flat, and we fixed the spare."

"Thirteen-seventy?" Are you sure you fixed it?

"Yep. You had a wood screw in the tire, so we took it out, plugged it, and put some air in your spare. You're good to go."

I think he mistook my amazement that the problem could be fixed so easily for disappointment that I didn't have to lay down $200 for a new pair of tires. I thanked him prettily and went on my way.

There are a few lessons we can learn from this story:

1. If you must do annoying things like wasting money on your car when you could be buying a new computer or pillow-top bed or a hot air balloon ride, try to find an auto shop that has mechanics with beautiful blue eyes.
2. If, once you find that auto shop, despite the fact that you're sure it was meant to be between you and Beautiful Blue, he tries to fleece you anyhow, move on, you deserve better.
3. In the end, it's not really looks that matter anyway. Go for the bleached-blond and the dirty jumpsuit guy. They're honest, capable, and even if they're not beautiful, at least you'll have money left when you leave.

 

 

Evangelical Christians and the Mormon Dilemma

This article made me laugh.  Laugh.  Apparently evangelical Christians in South Carolina are having a hard time deciding whether to vote for Newt Gingrich, a known adulterer, or Mitt Romney, a Mormon.

Wait.  So they're saying that voting for a member of the Latter-Day Saint church is just as bad as voting for someone who can't be faithful to his wife?

If that's the dilemma, folks, then I have a hard time having respect for any of the people caught up in it.  If their bottom line for who they vote for comes down to religion, and if they vote for Gingrich instead of Romney, what they are saying is that they're religious bigots.

Yep.  If they vote for Gingrich, an adulterer, because he is a "Christian" in their eyes, over Romney, who has been faithful to his wife their entire 35-year marriage, then they are bigoted hypocrites. Because then it's not really about voting for the candidate with the same values as them, its about hatred.  

It's about voting for a man who doesn't live the values you profess to believe over voting for a man who does lives the values you profess to believe but has the misfortune to not be liked by your preacher, who's afraid that if you knew anything real about Mormons, you'd join their church, and he'd be out of a job.

I'm not saying vote for Romney.  You can vote for whoever you want.  But just make sure that whoever you vote for, it's for the right reasons.

 

Blue Possums

I know, I know, I know.

I haven't written much that's terribly entertaining lately.  I've been busy with violin and finishing my book and all sorts of other stuff.

And yes, I know that possum is supposed to have an O in front of it, but really, that's silly, and it wastes perfectly good Os that you could use in words like chOcOlate mOusse and Oliver WOOds and tandOORi chicken.

Anyhow, I wanted to tell you about this person I know, and maybe there was an additional person too (I don't have firsthand knowledge) who may or may not have had a penchant for catching possms, dying them blue, and letting them go again.

That's all I really have to say about that, except that I sort of wonder what people thought if they saw the blue possum.

"Wow.  That's a BLUE possum."

"Nice that they dyed it blue for me.  It will make it easier to run over."

"That's blue, dah-bah-dee-dah-bah-dye....."

I only thought about the blue possums because I read a story about a farmer playing a trick on some bird watchers by painting some hawks red.

The trouble with that is that hawks are actually smart and kind of respectable and even somewhat majestic.  The farmer got in trouble, I think.

No one would blame you for dying a possum blue.  Possums are not smart or respectable.  In fact, they're rather ugly with their beady little eyes and nasty little tails, and I don't think they taste very good. 

Not that I've ever tried to eat one.

But I can't imagine that anything that ugly would be worth eating.

Anyhow, there you go.  Blue possums, huh?  Well, see you later.

 

Living What We Believe

 

For those not familiar with him, George Albert Smith was, if I counted correctly, the 8th prophet of the LDS church.  We are studying his teachings this year in Relief Society and Priesthood. For today's post, I've included a quote from chapter 1 of the manual.  The entire chapter is pretty powerful, though, and I'd recommend giving it a good read.

Said of George Albert Smith by Bryant S. Hinckley:  His religion is not doctrine in cold storage. It is not theory. It means more to him than a beautiful plan to be admired. It is more than a philosophy of life. To one of his practical turn of mind, religion is the spirit in which a man lives, in which he does things, if it be only to say a kind word or give a cup of cold water. His religion must find expression in deeds. It must carry over into the details of daily life.

 

 

Priorities

I've been making an effort in the past few months to make my life more productive.  It's an art, I've discovered, to balance meaninful, productive activities with entertaining, pointless activities.

Here are the items on my productive list:

1. Practice the violin:  A good goal.  And I'll never be good unless I practice.  I try to spare my roommate from listening to me, so I generally practice right when I get home from work, before she gets home.
2. Write:  Another worthwhile goal.  Finish that dang book.  Help the good guys find the bad guys.  Before January 31. Hurry, hurry.
3. Go grocery shopping:  I should say plan a menu, then go grocery shopping.  So I stop eating out, gaining weight, and spending more money than I need to.
4. Exercise:  Okay, not really a priority, but it should be.  If I were magically skinny, I wonder if I would stop being a puppy dog (see previous post).  I mean, is that really what it's all about?  Really?  Unfortunately, I'll either have to start exercising again or give in to skinny pills to find out.
5. Read my scriptures:  I go in cycles with this.  Sometimes I'm really good, every day.  And then I go for a week or two and...don't.
6. Edit:  I have a freelance project I should be working on.  But there are so many other things to divert my attention.

Here are my not-so productive things:

1. Finish Alias:  My roommate has every season of Alias, and now that I am all the way into season 4, I can't stop now.
2. Watch my other shows: Bones, Once Upon a Time, Grimm.  No more Terra Nova. And I have sort of lost interest in Psych.  it's funny, but it doesn't engage me anymore.
3. Go geocaching:  This could actually be in the other list too.  It's not all together pointless.  It gets me out of my house and gives me a bit of exercise.  But when it's all said and done, I don't have much to show for it (usually).  Still, fun.

As you can see, there are more productive things than unproductive things, but sometimes it just boils down to what takes the least effort, which is usually watching Alias.  I need to hurry and finish it so I can get my life back.  In the meantime I will dream about being a super skinny world famous writer and violinist with a fabulous love life.

Un-fall-in-lovable

I was talking with a friend this weekend about the joys of being single, and I decided that I am un-fall-in-lovable.

At first I started out saying that I was just unlovable.  I mean, that must be why I'm still single, right?

She told me that of course I was lovable, so I concluded that I must be un-fall-in-lovable.

I have a decent number of guy friends and a handful of guy acquaintances.  But despite actions or words that communicate that they respect me, think I'm smart, funny, or kind, or even that they enjoy my company, it seems that not one of them is capable of maybe, possibly, loving me.

It's not because I'm not lovable.  It's because I'm un-fall-in-lovable.  A puppy dog is lovable.  But you don't want to marry it.  I'm just everyone's puppy dog.

After some serious consideration, I've made a list of personality traits that might contribute to this unfortunate state.

1. I snore.  Truth.  That pretty much cuts it right there.
2. I have an unhealthy liking for gyozas, creme brulee, and homemade bread.
3. I know what the word "psychometric" means.
4. I have an M.A.
5. I like listening to my favorite songs over and over.
6. I own three black coats.
7. Sometimes my elbows have dry skin.
8. I don't make my bed.
9. My car needs to be washed.
10. I don't know how to make a convincing duck noise.
11. I can't do a cartwheel.
12. I haven't had a Twinkie in at least three years, probably longer.

Yep, clearly, I am un-fall-in-lovable.  And there's no hope for it, either.

(The duck noise classes are always full, and a girl can never have too many black coats.)

Letters

 Dear Shahid Kapoor,

   You are beautiful.  You have crazy smooth skin.  And you are a dreamy actor. Want to do lunch some time?

Love Darcy

 

Dear David Anders,

   Why do you always play bad guys?  Do you know when I fell in love with you?  Season 2 of Alias. You were wearing white.  Even though I knew you were pretty much the devil, I thought, dang, how can he look so innocent and hot and angelic and still be the devil?  Want to do lunch some time?

Love Darcy

 

Dear Kim Kardashian, Beyonce, and Kate Gosselin,

   I really, really, really don't care about a thing you do.  Unless maybe you could hook me up with Shahid Kapoor or David Anders.

 

Dear Roger Hamley,

  You are so slow.

Love Darcy

 

Dear Utah Drivers,

   Solid white lines should not be crossed.  Use your blinkers.  Don't pass on the right using the shoulder marked by the solid white line.   Don't tailgate me when I'm already going the mandatory Utah 5 mph over.

No love here,

Darcy

 

Dear People Who Say "I Could Care Less,"

   What you really mean is that you couldn't care less.  Trust me.

~Darcy

 

Dear House on 23rd South, and Manito Park.

   I miss you.  A lot.  Like, I dream about you sometimes.  But alas, life goes on.

Love Darcy

 

Dear Kasie,

   I miss you.  I miss geocaching with you.  I miss blunt talks about...everything.  And dang, I miss your egg rolls.  Visit me?

Love Darcy

 

Dear Western Washington, the ocean, and all those lovely green trees,

  You are magical and wonderful.  I dream about you too.  You know how amputees still feel the parts of their bodeis that are missing?  Well, that's how I feel about you.  Your sweet greenness, that huge awesome mountain floating  in the distant clouds on a clear day, and Happy Teriyaki, which probably isn't as good as I remember it, but still really good.

Love Darcy

 

Dear Mac Wilson,

   I know you probably don't remember, but we met once.  And even though you're probably twice as tall as I am, I still think it could have worked out.

Love Darcy

 

Dear Shopko,

   I'm kind of sad that you stopped selling the Bottled Emotions line of perfumes.  I mean, yes, how good can a $7 bottle of department store perfume be, but Crazy was MY scent.  It totally defined me for like two years.  How could you do that to me?  I was CRUSHED.  I still cry about it sometimes.

Darcy

 

Dear People Who Own the Hutton House,

   I still want a tour.  Like, really, really want a tour.  What do I have to do?  Who do I have to pay off?  Or my trifle.  I would make you three batches of strawberry turtle trifle for a tour of the Hutton House.  Pleeeeeease?

Darcy

 

Dear person who thought of the crispy green beans at P.F. Chang's,

   You are a genius.

Love Darcy

 

Thumbs Up to Eagle Scouts

For most of my growing up years, my dad played some kind of role in the Scouting program. My dad is and Eagle Scout, and all of my brothers are Eagle Scouts.  Most of my (male) cousins are Eagle Scouts.

I read something recently where someone made an off-hand comment about how being an Eagle Scout doesn't really mean much anymore.  I disagree; to the right people, it means a lot.  Whether the process of getting the Eagle Scout award creates character in a person, or whether it attracts people who already have a high level of character, people who work to earn the Eagle Scout award are people worth knowing.

Here are some of my own observations about Eagle Scouts, followed by some other folks' observations:

1. Eagle Scouts are prepared.  That's part of the motto.  Always be prepared.
2. Eagle Scouts know how to have fun.  They do a lot of difficult hikes and tasks, and sometimes things go wrong.  But they get through it because they have a sense of humor.
3. Eagle Scouts are willing.  They are there to help.  They are happy to help.  They want to serve others.
4. Eagle Scouts can do hard work.
5. Eagle Scouts persist.  An Eagle Scout project requires approximately 70-100 hours of work.  And that is only after the scout has earned all of the merit badges, been on all the camp outs, and fulfilled every other requirement.  Eagle Scouts know how to endure.
6. Eagle Scouts have a genuine interest in the welfare of others.
7. Eagle Scouts lead.
8. Eagle Scouts teach.
9. Eagle Scouts set an example.
10. Eagle Scouts are continual learners.  Each badge they earn requires them to learn a new skill.  I don't think this learning ends after they become Eagle Scouts.  I think they are always learning.
11. Eagle Scouts show respect.  They show respect to people.  They show respect to their country and the law.  And they show respect to their surroundings.

• prepared, can start a fire with 1 match (or no matches in a survivial situation)
• task-oriented, doers, goal setters, likely to elude speeding tickets [my brother puts his Eagle Scout card right next to his drivers license, so when he gets pulled over he pulls both of them out].
• prepared, leaders
• goal-oriented, achievement driven, organized, well rounded

Thumbs up to Eagle Scouts!